I've mentioned a couple times recently that Aidan has started a new preschool. I thought I should finally discuss this change and my reason for making it. It's been no secret that I've never been entirely happy with the preschool I had been sending Aidan to. There were a few requirements that Julien and I had as far as what type of school we were comfortable sending Aidan to and we also had a certain budget. When you combine the two you're left with only a few options where we are. When I first toured schools I toured a Montessori school nearby. I loved that place. The teachers were so friendly to Aidan and as a Montessori school, I knew they would be respectful of his learning style. Definitely my first choice. However, we just didn't have $350+ a month for a part-time spot. I was very disappointed and I realized that I might end up settling for a place that I could afford but wouldn't whole-heartedly like. To be honest, I've struggled with that the entire time Aidan was in his previous preschool, although I did my best to encourage Aidan to make friends and give his teachers a chance. Aidan started November 2009 and finished out the school year and then returned the end of August 2010 for the start of this school year. It became apparent to me quickly that Aidan wasn't happy with my choice either. Aidan wouldn't bother learning his teacher's names or a majority of the kids' names. He would tell me that he didn't like his teachers or that they were mean. (Well, two of them were. He was ok with one teacher who he didn't see often.) Even on trips to my mom's house he would tell her the same thing. She commented to me after a visit up that she hadn't even asked him when he volunteered that he didn't like his teachers. Other things bothered me though. A lot of the time I had to pry out of him what they did that day. And as the teachers never told you what they did each day, you received a newsletter that would tell you what they would be doing for the month, his report would be the only one I would have. I'm not not sure what he was doing there. Did he write his name on his own cause he brought home papers that looked like he might have. I just don't know. Even more importantly, I wasn't a fan of how the teacher would approach concerns with me. One day as I was leaving with Aidan, Olivia crawling over my shoulder, and his papers in my hands, the teacher stops me briefly and says "Aidan needs to work on his numbers." And that was it. As quick as she had said it she was on to something else. It was so abrupt that I think I squeaked out some reply to the effect that we were doing that at home already but I didn't even process what she had said until I got to the car. The more I thought about it the more I upset I got. Now understand, I've done this job. At the daycare when parents picked up their child/children I was the one who filled them in about their child's day. I understand how important parent communication is and that, as the teacher, rapport with the parent is critical to ensuring success for that child in the classroom. So please don't that think I'm being unfair or that I don't know what it's like. This is just not the way you communicate with parents. I had no real information about what was wrong, what had made her say that, or what exactly I was supposed to be working on at home. The thing that upset me most was the feeling like I had no opportunity to respond. I had totally fallen flat. So, I went home feeling like I was failing my child but not entirely sure how and pissed at his school, a school may I remind you, that was my second choice. After a couple days I let that go. Then came the Christmas party. I was sure Aidan would be excited and have a good time. He did at last year's party. He's usually a party kind of guy. We arrived, walked in the door.....and Aidan clung to me like never before. He didn't want to sing, he didn't want to play games, and he most definitely didn't want to see Santa! In fact, he had a breakdown that led to tears. You know, the inconsolable kind. Suddenly, I could feel every parent in the room slowly turn to look at me and my screaming child. In that moment I thought, "Oh no, I'm that parent with that kid right now." I didn't feel like fighting because a party shouldn't have to be a fight. So, I excused us and explained we had another party to go to (which we did for playgroup) and we got out of there as fast as possible. By the time we got to playgroup, Aidan had calmed down and had a great time. (In fact, on the way over he told me that he didn't like parties with teachers at them.) I was fed up. I walked in, said hello to all my mommy friends, and promptly asked my friend Rachel if there was a spot open at her daughter's school. Rachel doesn't live far from me, so when we had discussed preschool over the summer we had talked about how difficult it was to find something close to home. She had found a nice place not far from us but was very small and usually had a waiting list. Rachel was lucky enough to get her daughter a spot this year and had encouraged me to try to get Aidan in too. I still regret not following her suggestion. Well, someone must have been looking out for me and my sanity because, sure enough, one had just opened up. My friend texted the teacher right then and there to let her know I was interested and by the end of the day I had pretty much secured the spot for Aidan. We went to tour the class right around New Years and the first week of January Aidan started at his new school. If there was any doubt in my mind about moving him, the director of his old school removed it when I called to give our mandatory one month notice. (As in the handbook, I was going to ask if we could do two weeks instead.) She told me good luck, we won't charge you tuition for January, and he doesn't need to come back. Now, I had planned to take him and let him say goodbye, maybe take some treats for his last day, and talk to the teachers myself. Apparently, she saw no need for closure. I felt like she should have ended the call with "and don't let the door hit you on the way out" but Julien says I was being too sensitive, that either she could fill the spot immediately or she was trying to help us out so we wouldn't have to write two tuition checks. I suppose that could be but it cemented my opinion of the place. They did ask me to come by to pick up his allergy medicine and to get his portfolio of work. When I did, I received an icy reception and it took three minutes to get Aidan to leave the doorway and into the actual room. The teacher told me that she didn't think Aidan was "progressing from the previous year." At home I read the teacher's observations in the portfolio and was surprised by what I read. She painted this picture of a shy kid who played alone mostly, and when he did play with others it was with kids he never talked about. Not to mention they weren't the kids he would play with when I dropped him off or the kids he would say bye to when I picked him up. The kid she described didn't sound much like my son at all. To this day I wonder what was really going on when he was there. Since we've switched I've seen a wonderful change in Aidan. By the end of his first week at his new school, I had received more meaningful communication from his new teacher than I had received from his old teachers all year. Aidan also went to school with a smile on his face and told me his teacher was nice. There was also something he said while at school that caught the attention of his teacher, Ms. Kathy. One morning the kids were playing on the floor with blocks and Ms. Kathy got down and was playing with them. I guess Aidan asked the kids, "Your teacher plays on the floor with you?" Like he had never seen it done before. I think for both Ms. Kathy and I, that spoke volumes. In the month that Aidan had been at his new school he's already shown progress. He now can write his whole name with the letters facing the right direction (most of the time), he's counting on his own a lot and he's counting higher, he's writing more letters, and he enjoys going to school. In four classes he has counted higher and identified more letters than in the observations from his old school state he could. It's nice to hear from him that his teacher is nice and that he notices when Cole or Chase isn't at school. (Or that he knows all the other boys' names and the names of almost all the girls too.) I think he's found an environment where he's comfortable and a teacher that supports his learning and makes it fun. Now, he didn't go very much in January. Between being sick and all the snow days they had, he missed a lot. But, as we were heading back for the first day back in two weeks, Aidan held my hand walking to the classroom door and told me, "Mom, it's good to be back." Yes Aidan, it is.
Side Note: I'm so glad that I decided to find a different school for Aidan. It's been said that Aidan is going to have teachers he doesn't like or get along with and he won't always be able to get out of their class. And that's true. But we'll deal with that when we get to it. At his age I still have control over where he goes. And if he's not in a school that's a good fit for him and doesn't encourage his learning, why would I leave him there? He still has the chance to love school, or at least like it enough to tolerate it, and I want to give him every chance in the world to keep that feeling.
lucy walking (on video for the first time)
14 years ago